Researchers at the University of Columbia are implementing a breakthrough technology that will monitor carbon emissions in New York to an unprecedented level of detail. This method not only tracks the presence of carbon dioxide at all times, but is sensitive enough to detect the exhaled carbon gas of people standing nearby.
"We're unraveling the story of how carbon changes over the day, changes from neighborhood to neighborhood, and changes from the country to the city," said Wade McGillis, a Columbia University researcher. Scientists are hoping this data will not only help them understand how carbon is created and stored by urban environments, but also to make real assessments on how helpful carbon laws, such as vehicle emission regulations and green building standards, actually are when trying to abate heat-trapping gasses.
While population density alone will account for a higher amount of metabolized carbon from human activities (i.e. breathing), it is believed that central heating systems, and transportation will be the major players in telling the story of how carbon is made.
The scope of the study ranges all the way from Harlem to eastern Long Island, a rural area that McGillis hopes will highlight the major differences in carbon generation per-capita. The sensors measure carbon in the local atmosphere, and wirelessly submit the information to a central database four times an hour.
A similar study from NOAA spreads carbon sensors across the country in an effort to keep tabs on where carbon is, and more importantly where it isn't. This study hopes to find areas of low carbon intensity in the hopes of discovering natural processes, like plant life, that could be harnessed to capture carbon in urban environments.
The EPA is currently considering forcing major polluters, like coal-fired power plants and refineries, to carry similar technology to measure actual carbon output. The EPA hopes that the information gathered would allow lawmakers to address areas of greatest concern, while lobbyists from the coal industry say that this technology will yield similar results from measuring devices already implemented, and are an unneeded expense.
On a more serious note, the benefit of such detailed studies will finally put the human body under deep investigation as a contributing source of green house gases. As one book titled The Gas We Pass by researcher Shinta Cho helps to draw important conclusions about the causes of gas, the real question some researchers want to answer is how humans are directly impacting the environment. As a slew of misguided, fad-oriented scientists run around worrying about inconclusive external data and indirect causes of global warming, more serious researchers are asking, "What about farts?"
The finger-pointing continues as some Americans are now seeking to blame other species for the demise of our planet. One of the chief contributors to global warming is the cow, which has been labelled as "overly gaseous" and "environmentally indifferent," causing some concerned Americans to push for genetic modifications that will effectively overhaul the cow and retrofit existing models. If the measure passes Congress, it might come just in time to help the US meet global demands to lower its emissions before the upcoming replacement to the Kyoto Protocol. In the meantime, expert geneticists are scrambling to redesign a cow that burps less, tastes better and can milk itself in an effort to finally produce 100% untainted and organic milk.
According to one administrative spokesperson, "The reality is that we just can no longer afford to look at total output as the only factor in assessing which species is most responsible for global warming. The truth is," he continues, "that per capita, the cow has four times as many stomaches as the average human and cows burp a lot more, too. The amount of gas coming out of both ends of a cow dwarfs that of the person by a considerable amount creating an untenable burden on the environment. We've got to act now if we are going to get a handle on this climate crisis!"
While some agree that cows are to blame, they still feel this does not let humans off the hook from their contributions. One popular option among some Democrats is to create a mandatory low-gas diet. In the House and Senate, however, Republicans have vowed to vehemently oppose such legislation or any legislation related to another proposal for a pass-gas tax. "It's every American's God given right to pass gas in his or her own country. It's built into the Constitution for Heaven's sake!" said one round Republican.
Helping to bring a level of sound judgement to the matter, Wikipedia clearly states that "The noises commonly associated with flatulence are caused by the vibration of the anal sphincter, and occasionally by the closed buttocks." If this is true, Congress definitely has its work cut out for it. However, what may be even more alarming is the release of harmful gases produced by such an event. To the rescue again, Wikipedia offers this factual and inarguable information about the contents of a gas-pass:
As you can see, the data is grim. This leaves many inside the Beltway to consider a method of collection, consolidation and containment. Senate Democrats are hastily trying to build legislation into the ACES bill to deal with the issue and are considering renaming the ACES bill to FACES to ensure this aspect of the new legislation is taken seriously and is dealt with first. Regarding containment facilities, no state in the union has raised its hand to take on the task of containment to date, leaving many to ponder how functional our government really is if it can't pass legislation to save our planet.
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